ugh

I’m distracting myself from writing in the dead of night because I just need to spill out my stupid little emotions….

Well, I was once again today reminded that my friends are mainly all homophobic ;_;.

Lorissa thinks that I’m weird and crazy (not in a good way at all kind of weird and crazy) because I think that same-sex couples should be able to adopt kids because they can’t have their own kids. It kind of hurts actually, she doesn’t accept it.

I think in all reality, I’d be a lesbian if it wasn’t for a few guys I know in real life and maybe some actors/singers/characters from books or animes or movies and such. I don’t really find most guys extremely attractive anymore….I dunno why either.

Yet I’m like too fucking cowardly to go tell the one person that promised I can tell her anything in the world, no matter what, because she’s homophobic. Because of that, I’ve only told like….three people that I know in actual real life that I’m bi. My mind comes up with the most bullshit ideas that I’m going to be rejected by society, because of this.

I’m not that kind of person that my views on how things are (and how I am) easily changed, but I’m just scared about this. I just think it’s a little….scary. It’s not as easy as most people think. Trust me. It’s stressful, depressing, and all that stuff like that….

Even though I’ve been told that if they really are my friends, they won’t care, I can’t help it. If you’ve never gone through this before, then I’ll tell you that it’s like you’re trying to tell someone something huge and giant about yourself–something no one knows–to a person who despises whatever your big secret is. It’s hard.

*sigh* I just need someone to talk to about this, like right now…..

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